Who do you think you are?

I was only out of the country for three months, but it seems that is all it takes for people to get confused about who exactly I am.

First, my mobile phone number (which I've had for 10 years) was given away to some bloke in Newcastle. And secondly, I've just received a solicitor's letter demanding £1,500 in rent arrears for a house in Enfield I've never heard of and certainly didn't live in. To be fair Vodaphone sorted me out fairly quickly, although the guy from Newcastle I talked to briefly can't be too happy at having to change his number. As for the rent arrears (where there is a court order granted against me) hopefully it's a mix-up by the tracing agents hired by the solicitor - otherwise it means someone has been going round pretending to be me. (Not very imaginative. I'd pretend to be someone much more interesting. Brad Pitt maybe. Or Cristiano Ronaldo.)